i'm shocked. maybe she's not into awesome guys.

still slightly hungover at 8 p.m., catching up on the new season of the bachelorette. so many thoughts ... some entertaining, none important.

so how does jillian remember all those guys' names? she has to have a cheat sheet and i'm thinking she probably studies before the show, and maybe even before she meets them all. i was trying to remember their names while watching and could recall maybe two or three of them when she was looking at their pictures in the frames and during the rose ceremony. if i were the bachelorette, i would come up with names like flava flav did ... foot fetish guy. pink tie guy. tim mcgraw wanna-be. forehead. b-boy. (speaking of flave, i would also give out vodka sodas or reese's peanut butter cups instead of roses, but that's neither here nor there)

speaking of the roses, i remember pinning a corsage on my prom date and it was NOT that easy. they have to be clip-ons, or magnetic.

limo drama. i can only listen to so many awkward encounters, and jillian, i love ya but if you say "cool" one more time ... deanna might win the title of my favorite bachelorette right back.

stop crying about not getting one-on-one time with jillian and freaking go get some. also, stop hating on tim mcgraw wanna-be because he whipped out his guitar and sang a song. one guy said, "that's lame - just be yourself, man!" ummm he IS being himself because he is a country singer. or at least attempting to be one.

forehead makes his exit, confused. "i'm shocked. maybe she doesn't like awesome guys." hahahaha .... i'm not shocked because your forehead is the size of montana, and in your case, being a lawyer from new york is not enticing because you're cocky as shit for no reason whatsoever.

foot fetish guy. oh man. i knew this was coming thanks to the style network and topanga's (does anyone REALLY know her real name? let's be honest) corny version of E's show, the soup. i guess you were pretty slick in getting jillian to take off her shoes but the talk about corns and bunyons and high arches is completely unnecessary. gross! if bad feet is a dealbreaker, you won't be dating me anytime soon. and i'm totally ok with that.

these dudes are SUCH queens. already threatening each other, talking all macho, showing off their "i can kick this water bottle off your head" skills. having dance-offs. trying on the impression rose. calling people out for not being there for the right reasons - they totally stole that from i love new york. give me a break.

and was i the only one who noticed that fitness model guy looks like jason's twin brother? holy hell. i hope she didn't keep him. WHAT a tool.