road rage

as an official resident of florida (which by the way cost me $200 - you can't tell me an aluminum rectangle with three numbers, three letters and an orange on it costs that much to make), i feel as though i am allowed to address the following concerns regarding driving in miami:

issue number 1: the left lane.
it seems as though people think that when there are more than two lanes on an expressway, you are OUT of the way when you're in the far left lane. this is not the case - in fact you are very much IN the way and need to move your culo to the appropriate lane for your speed. the following are examples of who should never be in the far left lane: those big honkin trucks that load shit onto ships at port of miami; duck tours or any other type of slow-moving vehicle carrying tourists; handicapped people who probably shouldn't be driving to begin with; anyone who has ever received a ticket for going too slow on the expressway; those gawking at the airplanes and cruise ships.

issue number 2: cops.
it is noted that cops can pretty much do whatever they want and that is a perk of being one. today, i passed three cops with their lights flashing on the causeway, blocking a lane. one would think something was wrong, but, this trio of idiots was just standing around shooting the shit, smiling and laughing. blocking traffic, FOR WHAT? this was especially annoying to me today, seeing as how i had just passed a girl that had been hit while riding a bike. apparently catching up on stories about what an asshole you've been that day and comparing notes on how to be a dick, is more important than tending to a woman lying in the middle of alton road. (sidebar: while we're on the subject, cops should not park in actual parking spots when in a crowded area. you're a freaking cop, and can park wherever you want. think about that donut you had earlier and walk it off, or, if you must, park on the sidewalk or curb. because you're not writing yourself a ticket.)